Justice Quote
Justice for Doug continued today and the courtroom was full of drama – almost like Law & Order. To start things off the murderer fired his attorney and demanded to represent himself. At which time the judge proceeded to tell him he was making a colossal mistake (Something accurately depicted on TV – every judge and lawyer agrees on this point).

He went on to let him know that if he thought being his own attorney would grant him access to the law library and other freedoms in the jail, he was sorely mistaken. The judge told him he would get a pad of paper and a pen. He also said he couldn’t in good conscience appoint him as his own lawyer.

The judge assigned another lawyer to his case and they would meet back on Feb 24 at which time the judge told him he hoped he will follow the advice of his new lawyer. If not, then he would grant his motion to represent himself keeping this new lawyer as his adviser.  At which time, they continued the court date until June.

The prosecutor then asked that the murderer be fingerprinted so the state can prove his prior convictions. I am not sure why the need another set of fingerprints but that is our justice system at work. The murderer refused to grant permission (of course he did).

The judge then told him he had two choices. He could grant permission and get fingerprinted right now or he would call  three guards into the courtroom that would hold him down and forcibly fingerprint him.  Needless to say, the state got their fingerprints.

This is actually good news. My dad thinks that the reason he fired his lawyer is because his lawyer was recommending he take a deal that he wasn’t happy with. In my opinion, justice is on its way.

Honestly, I am not looking for a number. I don’t need him to be awarded a certain number of years in jail for me to feel justice is served. I don’t believe it is my place to judge. I want justice and to me that means him admitting he murdered my brother and being held accountable for his actions – whatever that looks like.

What I really want most of all, is for this to be over. So we can all begin to heal. In a very small way, I also want it to continue. In realize it is not so healthy and a totally messed up way of thinking but it keeps Doug at the center of our thoughts. Like we are holding on and not wanting to let him go.

Twenty-nine days a month I think I am doing OK. This one day every month really messes with my head. So while I want justice so we can really begin to heal, I know that when it comes it will be bittersweet.