There Is Nothing Wrong with Crying

Let's talk about crying. And specifically why there's nothing wrong with shedding a few tears.

I cry at Kleenex commercials. So, you can only imagine what happens when the stakes are actually high.

The tears would come, and there I’d be, apologizing for “losing it,” just drawing more attention to the fact that, yes, I was crying. Great plan, right?

I used to hate that I cried, and that frustration just made it worse.

But then Taylor Swift gave us this little gem: “I cry a lot, but I’m so productive. It’s an art.” I’ll admit, I like the way she thinks. I might not have called it an art at first, but, hey, I’m in. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally stopped being embarrassed about my tears.

My biggest problem is I care. A lot. When something is important to me, I’m all in. So if things fall apart or I hit a wall, sometimes the tears just flow. It’s part of who I am, and if that makes me a “sensitive type,” well, that’s fine by me.

What helped? A TikTok from Jefferson Fisher who said, "Stop apologizing. You owe nobody anything for feeling human.” Finally, a rule I could get behind. 

In a follow-up video, he added this little trick—if you feel the need to say something, just label the tears. “These are frustration tears” or “These are tired tears.” It’s simple, and it’s true. And, oddly enough, just naming it helps me feel more in control.

Another tip that’s been surprisingly effective is when I start to feel the urge to cry, I’ll just say, “I can feel myself getting emotional.” Acknowledge it, take a long, deep breath, and sometimes, it actually works to prevent the tears. (Not that I mind if they come anyway—I’m just ready for whatever.)

And if the other person fixates on the crying? I’ve learned to laugh it off again with Jefferson’s help, “Yeah, sometimes my stress comes in liquid form.” It’s a bit of humor, but it’s also the truth.

So, yes, I'm a crier. Take it or leave it. And if my stress shows up in liquid form, well, it is what it is.